A little over 20 years ago, I came out to myself as a lesbian. Since then my path has wound through many more relationship experiences and identity discoveries. One of them is when I fell in love with my now life partner, Tim. At the time I was still identifying as a lesbian, in a long-term relationship with a woman, and very active in my local community in Tacoma, WA. My large, lesbian community was vehement in their affirmation of the…